Is it wrong to want to forget someone because their memory hurts?
November 15, 2010 by Mind Hurts
Filed under memory hurts
I had a boyfriend last year, and we went through a lot together. I can genuinely say that I loved him with all my heart, and he loved me. Last August, we were at the mall holding hands. We got a ton of judgmental looks but we really didn’t GAF. It was heaven while it lasted, we got jumped in the parking garage. Security came before any serious damage was done but it still hurt a ton emotionally. He was going through a lot more than me at that time. He killed himself the day after. You guys don’t know how hard it was to type that up I’m crying my eyes out right now. I really wanna know if it would be wrong for me to forget him because it just makes me miserable.
Please keep your rude comments to yourself btw. Thanks
you shouldn’t forget him,especially if you loved him. sadly,he was going through a lot and thought he couldn’t handle anything anymore. i am so sorry that he took his life. i know it is hard,but the pain will be easier with time. try and remember the good things about him and that when you were together,you had a lot of good times. i will pray for you and if you have a hard time trying to recover,i would see a therapist,who could help or a survivor’s group. they will help you with your grief and give you tips on how to cope with your loss.
Certainly a painful memory, my condolences. I think your concern is whether or not the wish to escape the pain that the memory brings, means that you are minimizing or trying to dismiss your love for him; and it doesn’t. The two are different and separate. In your mind and heart, you must try to separate the pleasurable memories from the atrocious events that led to his death. At the same time, add as much positivity to your life as possible to minimize the negative thoughts and feelings from that event. Think about it, there have been billions of positive and loving people that have walked the earth, and one way or another, they too have died. But we don’t dwell on the fact that they died, rather we focus on the positive that they did and the great memories they left behind. In essence, the negative was separated from the greater positive, and later forgotten. You must do the same. It is often believed that doing something positive in the name of another person, lends to a great deal of positive healing. Plant a tree in his honor in some remote private, quiet place. Start a college fund for other youth in his honor, collect money from local merchants yearly and present it in the form of a scholarship to one or more deserving students at the High School that your former boyfriend attended, and name the scholarship after him. Lots of ideas out there.
Get proactive…………….JJ